Why You Never Seem to Remember the Full Moon
One of the members of the Narrative Astrology Lab asked me recently if I had any advice for people who consistently forget to do things on the Full Moon.
I have to admit, I was a little confused about the question until they showed me some social media posts nagging people to do moon stuff with the implication that you’re not a “real witch” if you don’t feel like doing things at the Full Moon. I was astounded. Where do people get off believing that they have the right to tell people what to do?
I have built a lot of my practice around the moon, and I say that if you aren't interested in working with the moon, don't work with the moon. You don't have to do anything with the moon to be a witch (or whatever). And if all you need is permission to do whatever you want and still call yourself a witch (or whatever), you have it. You're welcome. Go forth and be happy.
If you are still reading, it might be because you don't just feel obligated. There is something inside you that wants to work with the moon, and you keep missing the opportunity.
My purpose with this post is not to be one more person telling you what to do. If, however, you are annoyed that the moon keeps on passing you like a train that has decided to go express to the end of the line just before it gets to your station, and you are looking for ideas for what to do instead, I have some ideas that might help.
Read on.
Problem #1: You really can't keep it in your head when the Full Moon is.
Having a hard time remembering when the Full Moon is could be pointing to a larger problem, namely, a disconnect from the lunar cycle as a whole. When you are connected with the lunar cycle, you know, roughly, what the moon is doing at any given time, just like you know what month and year it is.
You don’t look to the moon to tell you what time it is the way you look to the sun, though. Being in touch with lunar cycles is all about understanding your own personal rhythm and working with it.
The moon tells us about our energetic and emotional cycles. It helps us answer questions like: When is your energy high and low? When do you need to attend to your heart, and when are you most productive?
Understanding lunar cycles can be deeply illuminating, but the process of getting in touch with those cycles can be difficult for people who live in a society with a solar calendar (i.e. most of us.)
The solar calendar measures time objectively. Winter is colder than summer, and that’s not just an opinion. You can make a chart of temperature averages and see definite temperature differences between January and July. You might argue that it doesn’t feel that cold to you on a winter day, but you can’t argue with the temperature reading of a functioning thermometer.
The objective nature of sun time doesn’t just give you a calendar that is trustworthy and consistent (except in February). Sun time also creates cultural norms. When it’s night, it’s night for everybody in the local area, and everyone who isn’t sleeping is deviating from the norm. There is social pressure to conform to the sun calendar, which makes it easier to fall in line.
The moon operates on a fairly consistent schedule, but what the moment in moon time means is entirely subjective. When the moon is full, it’s full for everyone, but some people get wired at the Full Moon. Some get tired. Some get emotional.
None of these is the “right” or “standard” response. There is only your response and your own personal emotional patterns, which means that if you’re invested in understanding your cycles, you’re kind of on your own… unless you can find a class or group that is doing that exploratory work together.
Problem #2: The moon never seems to be full at a convenient time, and you don’t know how much that matters.
First, you are not alone. People rarely do things at the exact moment of the Full Moon for exactly the reasons you haven't been.
There are many different approaches to this problem and many different sets of rules.
This means that you get to decide which of these rules are most convenient and/or make the most sense to you.
Rules I've commonly seen are:
Always do workings the night before the exact Full Moon,
The Full Moon is whenever my coven says it is,
The Full Moon lasts as long as the moon is in the astrological sign of the Full Moon (which gives you about 2.5 days to get your stuff done.)
Personally, I follow the third approach because it makes sense to me as an astrologer to think of the Full Moon as a geometrical relationship between the sun and moon.
But, honestly? Do what you want. Unless you’re a very formal ritual magician—and, if you are, this post isn’t for you—it doesn’t really matter.
Problem #3: You make plans, but something always sabotages them, or they just don't seem right.
There are people who can decide that they are going to do magic. They set it up. They decide what time they are going to do it, and they do it. The spell works fine. The end.
I am not one of those people, and you might be like me.
You might be a person who can't just dive in and force their will on the situation. You might be a person who needs to flow with the moment, who needs to listen to what is going on around you before you can act.
If you are a person who needs to flow with the energy of the moment, and you don't know that about yourself, you might think that there is something wrong with you that things just don't work out for you. This can create a of obligation and stress that feels terrible.
Stop.
Don't make plans. Mark the Full Moon on your calendar, set a gentle intention to honor it. Then listen to your mood that day, and accept what you hear, even if your mood wants to honor the moon by eating mac and cheese and taking a nap.
The moon is literally the planet of mac and cheese and naps. It’s alright.
Problem #4: You're never actually in the mood to do witchy things at the Full Moon.
Do you literally never feel in the mood, or do you mostly never feel in the mood. It matters. If you are rarely in the mood to do witchy things at the Full Moon, see #5. If you are never in the mood, read on.
If you are literally never in the mood to do witchy things at the Full Moon, the things you have in mind might not resonate with your particular relationship with the moon. Everyone’s relationship with the moon is different, which means that your lunar things need to be uniquely your own.
The moon is all about your mood, so your mood at the Full Moon tells you something about your natural lunar rhythms. Your mood gives you clues about what type of lunar magic is right for you.
If you feel like you lose your grip at the Full Moon, good Full Moon activities for you might be ecstatic dancing or crying into a pillow or just doing your best to accept your feelings and not trust your brain for a few days.
The Full Moon might communicate loudly about what in your life needs to change, but it isn’t necessarily the time to roll up your sleeves and get into action, and that’s okay. You're still a witch (or whatever).
Problem #5: You are rarely in the mood to do witchy things at the Full Moon.
Not every Full Moon is going to hit you the same way. It's just like how some songs can make you cry, and some songs don't make you feel anything at all. Sometimes, the moon plays a song at the Full Moon that really plucks your heart strings. Those are times to really take advantage of, and you know that. If you trust yourself, you will do the right thing.
The rest of the time, it's okay to say, "I'm not feeling it," and just do your thing.
(There is an astrological explanation for this that is too technical for this post. If you'd like me to walk you through it, I would be happy to. Book a reading.)
tl;dr x2
If you are noticing a couple of themes in this post, you're right.
tl;dr #1: Don't let other people police your practice.
tl;dr #2: Moon magic is about your mood.
The moon—and, thus, moon magic—It isn't rational. It fundamentally resists planning and routine. Unless you have a very particular (and rare) relationship with the moon, you are unlikely to have success trying to fit your moon magic into some kind of structure.
Moon magic is the ultimate in "just go with it, dude."
So relax.
Discover your own lunar cycle.
In Moon Mood Workshop, we spend a lunar month once a year following the moon through the signs and connecting with our hearts through journaling, mood tracking, and community support.
